HybridPotato

To whom it may concern;

As you few readers of this journal may know, your dear friend Courtney was recently involved in quite a thrilling adventure that took place approximately 4 days ago. (It was the one involving a tornado and an act of heroism.. remember?)

If you got a chance to read the autobiographical account of her exciting flight, you would've known that Courtney was diagnosed by none other than myself, Dr. Romulus DeSwitt, with NO MORE THAN one week to live.

That's right. One single week was all I gave her in my diagnoses, and seeing that I've been her doctor for over 4 years, most would agree (including her friends and family) that I am the authority on this kind of thing.

WELLLLL, as it turned out, what should've been Courtney's last adventure (saving a malnourished infant from a earth-shattering whirlwind) ended up as a newspaper-worthy event, and it's goodness was so epic in grandeur that it summoned the 'good fairy' all the way from neverneverland, or wherever she is from, with great news of life beyond my diagnoses...

... Here's the problem. She never checked with me first...!! I assunme she just got caught up in the moment, and suddenly appeared with these spectacular words. Personally, I've never met the broad, but she seems a little kooky.

Another possibility that I considered was that Courtney simply hallucinated this very fairy into being with her gigantic imagination. (It might have been those painkillers I perscribed...?) Either way, I am here to confirm that the awful news is STILL TRUE, and that Courtney only has one more day left.

I've tried several times today to call her but there is no answer. It might even be too late. However, I am glad that I found this entry in time so that I could warn all of you.

But look. Dont get all down in the dumps. Here at DeSwitt laboratories, we have been working around the clock on a new method that brings former diagnoses patients back to life instantly. Things should work out great. (should...) 

There is a catch, however. Once she gets resurrected (in the case that she does get resurrected) you all must call her a new name.

Don't ask why... it's just this crazy technicality that comes along with our new procedure...........  (you know, the big man upstairs kinda thing...) Either way, it'd be helpful if you all agreed on something, so as not to confuse her upon waking. The resurrection process is often disorienting to patients.

Thanks to all who took the time to read this. You are obviously good friends and care about your loved one, Courtney. Wish her luck in these upcoming weeks of medical malpractice, and let her know that she should get well soon.

Sincerely,

Dr. Romulus Horvath DeSwitt